This past summer took a toll on my relationship with God. I begged God for something that seemed fairly simple. I wanted to see my family, specifically, my niece and my new God-daughter. This meant a trip that I desperately needed for my sanity, my emotional stability and my faith. I needed a moment away from the financial struggles and loneliness I was feeling. More importantly, I needed God to give me a break from the turmoil I’ve been going through for the last 5 years. I didn’t get that break and it broke me.
I was not broken because I couldn’t go. I was broken because, once again, I got my hopes up on the power of prayer…and once again, I was sorely disappointed. After a few days, closed off from surroundings and banging my fist at God, I forced myself to get over it. However, I would soon learn that you cannot forcefully mend a broken heart.
A week ago, I attempted to buy a ticket home to the Carolinas, based on an airline representative’s statement in July. As I made the call, I felt looming disappointment ahead but was still hopeful that God would allow me to go home for Christmas. My hope was crushed as the agent told me the inaccurate reading of reward miles. The disappointment from this summer came swarming back, but now it was bitterness.
The most common mistake that causes a stripped screw is working too fast. Once stripped, pliers are the best way to fix the problem. “This process can be very tedious and you can break other parts if you are not careful.” The truth about any relationship, including one with God, is that there are times when your heart will get broken. In those times, you must allow God to take his time to mend your heart.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 NIV
Otherwise, you end up with more broken pieces.
My heart breaks for you and your desire to visit home. I wish I could do something to get you there this Christmas. I am certain that God has a plan for getting you to your home for a visit.. Only in His perfect timing. Know that you have friends here that will surround you with love and prayers til a time when that’s possible. Maybe sharing with us your favorite Southern treats will bring home a little closer to you!! God will bless your strong faith in Him. With love, Sarah