Inspired by Abram’s story. Read here.
One of my biggest struggles is not being the good friend, aunt or sister I desire to be. Living more than 3000 miles away from family is tough. It’s even harder if you’re not in a financial place to go home when you want or do something to help when someone needs it. But the hardest part is knowing I’m in this place because God put me here.
God will tell you to do crazy stuff.
My family always saw me as the one who would do great things. The problem is they thought I would do those great things at home in North Charleston, South Carolina. Moving across the country alone, baffled them but there was nothing they could do. For a while, the distance seemed healthy and God-ordained.
Then I started to receive calls about my niece. Concerns were growing about her behavior and how she was being raised. The solution was clear. Send her to her aunt in California. It made sense. My niece would be out of a questionable environment. She would be with someone of integrity who loved her and could possibly make her see life in a whole new way. I talked to my niece. She wanted to come. I wanted her to come. But God didn’t.
The way God sent me to Los Angeles was crazy. He told me not to renew the lease on my North Carolina apartment. Ask for a job transfer. Then, pack only what could fit in my car and hit the road in two months. I argued with him. Surely, he had a more organized plan than just picking up and moving to a place where I didn’t know a soul. God heard my objections then led me to Abraham’s story.
The Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to a land I will show you.”
Genesis 12:1
My objections were overruled by God’s will.
You cannot help everyone.
After being in Los Angeles for a few years, loneliness began to sink in. I missed my friends and some of my family. So when problems arose at home with my niece, it seemed like a door was opening. I knew God did not want me to leave California. But wouldn’t he want me to help this beautiful little girl?
My prayers shifted to what I could do for my niece.
“God, please make a way for her to come here. Give me the funds I need to take care of her even if it’s just for the summer.”
Those prayers were answered with a phone call from my cousin. She asked me a very important question. “Is this really something you’re ready to take on?”
I had to be honest. The answer was no.
As much as I wanted to help someone I loved so dearly, my spirit was clear. She was not a part of the plan for my life at this time. And I was not a part of hers. I allowed my loneliness to cloud God’s vision for both our lives. Bringing my niece to L.A. could have been similar to Abram bringing Lot with him. That is not the result I wanted for my relationship with her.
Call for help and keep moving.
Sometimes, God means for you to go on a journey alone. You are not capable of solving every problem. That’s God’s job. And he’s really good at it. So, we must be obedient and stay in our own lane. Even when it means watching people we love, crash. The only thing we can do when that happens is call for help. Pray. And trust that God is on the way.
Whew! This is a great blog. Really challenging to consider that sometimes what seems to us would be best, really isn’t what God has planned.
It’s a tough lesson to learn. We want to be in control because quite frankly, God created us to rule. But wisdom will always tell us what falls under our control and what doesn’t. We must learn to listen and operate in that wisdom.