Daniel Fast Day 10- Refreshing

I made this for the first time and was very happy with the results! Delicious!

Menu- grapefruit w/apricot breakfast bar, cashews & raisins, quinoa salad, minestrone soup.  

Yes, I decided to try a new dish and I’m so glad I did. Usually, I try something during the Daniel Fast that makes it into my normal eating habits. This salad may be the one this year.

On another note, I woke up at 3:07am to go to the job I talked about in Day 9. It was pretty hard to feel God’s glory at that hour when you have to face someone who is not exactly the most pleasant co-worker. But God has truly been dealing with me about seeing people the way he sees them. I try to put that into practice everywhere I go. Your perspective on someone changes when you begin to see them as God’s creation. You are reminded that God breathed his breath into their body to make them a living soul, just like you. It’s hard to be unkind to someone when you are conscious of God’s spirit in them.

Speaking of being conscious…

A couple years ago, I realized that when I’m fasting, I am much more conscious of things in my life that do not please God. He highlights things in my daily activities and interactions that don’t align with what he wants for my life. It could be misused time or a conversation I should have cut off. It could be something I watched or read that was unnecessary. In these moments, my spirit becomes very unsettled. I am forced to look at my actions, take note and check myself. Basically, I am presented with my shortcoming and a choice. Continue in my sin or repent. And since sin separates us from God and my deepest desire is to be close to him, I choose the latter.

“Repent, then, and turn to God, that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,”

Acts 3:19 NIV

I saw this verse and was a little blown away. The King James Version actually says those times of refreshing will “come from the presence of the Lord.” He wants us to be refreshed in his presence. Just being with him is powerful enough to wash away all the things that have bombarded us each day. His presence is loving enough to get pass what we feel in the moment and lead us to a place of peace.

Yeah. I’ll take that.

Daniel Fast Day 9- New Goals

Menu- apricot breakfast bar, brown rice cake with almond butter & raisins, roasted plantain chips, cashews, minestrone soup

Sunday Re-cap

Yesterday, I woke up with a new resolve! The rest of this fast will be about me and him. I went back to some pre-fast notes I had taken and saw that I had totally strayed away from what I said this fast would be about.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”

John 3:30 KJV

If I wanted to experience God’s presence daily, I would have to decrease, which is the whole purpose of fasting!

I got ready for church and to teach Sunday morning. I kept hearing the words ‘God’s glory’ in my head. I heard songs about it. I saw scriptures about it. That’s it! I wanted to be completely saturated in his glory. I would seek out ways to encounter his presence.

Monday

Today was spent at home due to wash day. (Naturalistas know this day all too well. I’m hoping for a good twist out.) I watched a lot of Word and worship. I noticed the running theme of what I watched seemed to be centered around prayer.
“OK God,” I said. “Let’s talk about it.”
So he sent me to a not so recent installment of In Touch Ministries by Charles Stanley. Wouldn’t you know it? The title was “The Prayer Life of Jesus.” I watched and took notes. Then turned it off to talk with God about today.

He explained that one of the jobs he allowed me to have was to actually increase my prayer life. If I can get up at 4, 5 and sometimes 3:00 in the morning to go to a job I hate, why couldn’t I get up to spend time with the God I love? If I’m trying to be like Jesus, why wouldn’t I emulate the most important aspect of his daily life on Earth?

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place where he prayed..”

Mark 1:35 NIV

This fast is going to change and increase my prayer life. I will make adjustments to my sleep habits to ensure that I start my day with the one who gave it to me. Like I said in Day 7, I have to make the time because you make time for the one you love!

Daniel Fast Day 7- Get With It!!!

Menu- tea (fresh mint, lemon juice & honey), brown rice cakes with raisins and almond butter, leftover lentil stew

So, I’m one week in and I’ve only felt a real encounter on one day, maybe two. When this happens, it’s never because of God. It’s me. The only time I felt his tangible presence was on Day 5 and he had to practically knock me over the head so I would spend just a few moments with him. Yesterday was pretty cool. It is humbling to be able to introduce someone to Jesus through my relationship with him. Other than that, it’s been pretty…blah.

Part of the problem is I’ve been so caught up in busy work. This blog is included. While I’m being obedient in posting each day, which is not easy, this is not spending time with him. It’s work for him. Anyone in a marriage can relate to this, particularly if you have kids or own a business together. You spend so much time in the routine of life: getting the kids to school, budgeting, taking care of the house hold, business responsibilities. You forget that this is not quality time. You’re just working together like co-workers. It is vital to spend time only focused on each other. It’s not about having the time. You make the time.

I have not done that. The morning devotions that I do for the fast are nice but basically routine. I know because I honestly don’t remember much of what I’ve read. Today was about Nehemiah and staying the course on the fast. After about 30 minutes, I got caught up in the tasks of the day.

  • Audition
  • Finish Children’s Church Lesson Plan
  • Email teacher and ministry leader
  • Write blog post
  • Conference Call
  • Blah, Blah, Blah

Fasts are supposed to draw you closer to God. That’s the point. The time you spend eating or craving gets flipped to time spent in worship or study.  Everyday is not going to be a honeymoon but I should at least have one moment of his presence.

So what do I do?

  1. First of all, I need to get motivated because quite frankly, I’m not feeling it right now.
  2. I need to get focused on HIM and not the food! (I’ll post my food log only to provide ideas for you)
  3. I have to take a more active approach in spending time with him. I can carve out 5 minutes of uninterrupted time with him in worship or in his Word. It’s 5 minutes!

I just need to get with it!

 

Daniel Fast Day 6- Fishing

  • Breakfast- apricot breakfast bar and orange
  • Lunch- veggie pasta and cherry tomatoes w/basil
  • Dinner- lentil stew
  • Snacks- cashews, dates and walnuts, brown rice cake w/almond butter

“And he saith unto them, follow me and I will make you fishers of men.”

Matthew 4:19 KJV

I had a surprising opportunity to tell someone about my relationship today. I guess God had been laying the groundwork for several months now. A co-worker and I often end up on tasks together. This has led to great conversations about our personal lives and lessons we’ve learned. Though I never say the words, “I’m saved,” it is a known fact on my job and with my clients. However, the extent and craziness of my relationship is not fully known until I talk about it. This morning gave me a chance to do so.

We were casually talking about my acting goals and auditions. I told him how my choices are dictated by what God tells me. I wish I could remember how the conversation got to my relationship. I just remember talking about how much I loved Him and my co-worker smiling as he said, “You’re like a school girl!”

The Revamp Worked!

We laughed and talked more about deeper concepts like spirit vs body and the miracle of musical talents. Here’s where God’s revamp came in handy. I shared a program with him that I saw on Hillsong last night. It highlighted a singer who was born tone deaf but was miraculously healed. She now sings all over the world. My co-worker was intrigued.

Time did not permit us to go in depth but something happened this morning. A seed was planted. Maybe God had been tilling the soil over the last few months of conversations with this co-worker. I don’t know. I do know I’m grateful for watching that program called The Story on the Hillsong network last night. If not for the fast, I would have been watching a useless episode of streaming television. Instead, a Christian program turned into great fishing bait.

Daniel Fast Day 5- Deeper

Each morning of the Daniel Fast I read the devotion from a book by Kristen Feola. Today’s devotion was about the breath of God from his spirit. One of my constant prayers is for God to breathe on me and all I do.

As I reflected on yesterday’s impatience with my acting career, I went to the often quoted Ephesians 3:20 about God doing more than you can imagine. I always thought that referred to material things. Then I looked at a cross reference verse and realized how off I was from the true meaning.

“these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them. In the same way, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.”

1 Corinthians 2:10-11 NIV

Yes, God can do above our imagination but only because we cannot possibly imagine what he’s going to do and why he’s going to do it! Its deeper than what we want.

I want to be a successful actress. (It’s still hard to say that publicly.) I know that God told me that I will be a successful actress. However, being a successful actress is about more than money, fame and that Academy Award. God has a whole other purpose in mind for my career. Something deeper. Something I cannot imagine.

So now, I must be willing to submit to his purpose though I do not know what it is. I must submit to the purpose more than the vision. I must submit out of faith. I must submit because I trust Him and his divine and incomprehensible wisdom.

On another note, I think God was waiting for me to get off work. I could feel him as I drove home. When I got to my apartment, his presence grew stronger. I tried to make myself a snack but could not focus. His presence was palpable. I had to stop. I find that it is best to acknowledge his presence with worship. As I spoke to him, he spoke to me. He went deeper.

Yes! This is what I was waiting for during this fast. I wish there was a way to feel like this all the time.

Daniel Fast Day 4- God’s Clapback

Sometimes, I forget that every day on a fast will not be a mind blowing, spirit awakening day full of wonder and amazement. This was one of those days.

I think I thought the first day of blocking secular TV and music would be different. I thought I would experience God in a different way. Well, that didn’t happen.

I spent most of the day reminding Him of his promises regarding my career. I have become quite tired of the current state of my life. This fatigue is only due to my desire to move into vision. However, I cannot allow this fatigue to become an excuse for impatience. At the end of the day, I am still blessed with all the necessities of life. My jobs are not horrible. In fact, I don’t mind what I do at all. It’s just not what God promised. So I constantly reminded Him of his own words.

“The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.” -1 Thessolonians 5:24 NIV

“…for he is faithful that promised” -Hebrews 10:23 KJV

So, I’m thinking if He promised, he will do it. Then, God gave me a clapback.

“For you have need of patience, that after you have done the will of God, ye may receive the promise.” -Hebrews 10:36 NKJV

OK. There’s stuff on my end that I have to do too. Patience. Obedience.
Got it.

Daniel Fast Day 3- Revamp

I woke up knowing that I had not partnered with God during the first 2 days of the fast. I had to talk to Him about what I needed to do besides the extra dietary restrictions he gave me.
A fast is nothing if it’s not personal.

So, during a quiet time at my job, I asked him what he wanted. He told me I was too focused on food. (This was a problem in years past of doing the fast.) I was good at not allowing unnatural foods into my body. But what was I allowing into my spirit?

He told me not to allow any questionable music or television into my spirit for the remainder of the fast. This means I will only watch faith-based programming and only listen to Christian music. He also took away YouTube! OK, this sounds like something from my Pentecostal-Holiness upbringing. But there’s something to this. People do body cleanses all the time. This will be a type of “spiritual cleanse.” Yes, I know, Jesus paid it all. But he also told us,

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, then your whole body will be full of light.” -Matthew 6:22 NIV

Even David had to check himself.

“I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes…It shall not cleave to me.” -Psalm 101:3 KJV

This little addition to the fast will take a lot of discipline. I am an avid TV watcher and my guilty pleasure is YouTube family vloggers. But, this isn’t new. He added this to my Daniel Fast in 2017. The results were amazing. So, I’m going to be obedient. I trust he has something for me at the end of this. He always does.

P.S. I begged and begged. He did allow one program- This is Us.
Whew! Thank you Lord Jesus!

Hollywood Arise and The Shift

I grew up in an age where every person receiving an entertainment award would thank their ‘Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ’ or at a minimum thank God. However, their thanks seemed so empty, void of truth and void of authenticity. After a while, those words of appreciation to Him, fizzled. I heard it less and less as I watched the Emmy and Grammy award shows or during interviews. God was being replaced with words like “the universe” or not being mentioned at all; as if the creation was somehow greater than the Creator. I appreciated that the facade was over but mourned what it meant for the culture.

Culture and creativity has become obsessed with self.

Today, entertainment is evidence of what happens when God is pushed out of a medium. Excellence in music, television and film is considered unattainable without the most raciest content. Language has become more vulgar. Scenes have become near pornographic. The excuse has been ‘authentic storytelling.’ The problem is- this is not everyone’s story.

God is the ultimate creator. Look no further than the first page, the first book, the first verse of the Bible.

“In the beginning, God created…” Genesis 1:1

He created the whole world from nothing! Then he created us in his image with the ability to create as well. So, shouldn’t our creativity reflect that of the creator’s? If so, how does Hollywood, the entertainment mecca of creativity, reflect God’s creation?
It doesn’t.
How can Hollywood reflect God’s creativity, when God is not the one in front of the mirror?

Light shines brightest in darkness.

God has been speaking to me about a shift in the entertainment industry over the past year. Audiences are aware of a new Black Renaissance in film and television, the #MeToo movement, and now the rise of more Asian and Latin representation. These are definitely worth noting. But I’ve also noticed a few small flames of light in the industry. Bold believers in the industry, speaking with authenticity that I never heard when I was younger. They are openly discussing their relationship with a living God who is responsible for their success. I was feeling hopeful about the shift but alone in that hope…until now.

This past weekend, God confirmed that I heard him right.

I found out about Hollywood Arise on social media. The concept was simple.
72 hours of intercession for Hollywood and entertainment, through worship and prayer. I decided to check it out. I am so glad I did.

“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony…” Revelation 12:11

By the time I arrived, intercession had been going for over 36 hours strong. I could hear the sounds of worship as I walked up Highland Blvd. My spirit filled with excitement as they placed the orange band around my wrist. I walked into the large tent and was immediately engulfed in God’s presence. There was a mission here. Every speaker, every celebrity, every participant made it known. We were here to petition God “to break open the heavens for Hollywood.”  Prayers were sent up for every issue in the industry from diversity to pornography.  People shared their testimonies of overcoming depression and suicide attempts. Something powerful and trans formative was happening here.

I returned on Sunday evening to more worship and a creative arts celebration. Dancers, singers, spoken word artists, all sharing their gifts for the God who gave it to them. There was a call for purity as the new standard. Perhaps my favorite challenge came from Jaeson Ma, an accomplished leader in the entertainment industry as well as ministry. He said that we, the church, “gotta get our mind out of the religious box!” He emphasized that our mission was to reach the lost and not to preach to the choir. This requires us to step outside of church and ministry as usual. We must step into those places where it is darkest.

Isn’t that the purpose of light?

The Shift

On Friday night, as Hollywood Arise kicked into gear, the heavens literally opened as rain began to fall and lightening cracked the sky. It was an amazing site. See it here.  Monday, after the event ended, the first Santa Ana winds of the season came through Los Angeles. The meteorologists said this was the strongest they had ever seen, this early in the season. When the people of God earnestly pray, God moves. It’s that simple.

But we must move too.

We must move into the spaces that God has called us to occupy. We must use the gifts that God has given us and never be ashamed to tell others about the giver. For my part, God made something very clear to me. I wasn’t hearing things when he told me, “There is a shift happening in the entertainment industry.” He told many other Believers the same thing. We are not just embarking on a major move of God in the most culturally influential city in the world. We are to be a part of that move because we are world changers.

 

*I also attended The Merge Summit concert this weekend where I heard Dee-1 music for the first time. His lyrics from this tee-shirt ring so true.

Dee-1 music

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cord Cutting Christian

I had been toying with the idea for some time. As I sat on my bed, reading my cable bill line by line, the anger and frustration seem to rise like lava in a raging volcano. When I saw the “set-top box fee,” it erupted. On top of the more than $20 in fees and surcharges, I was being charged $5 per month for a box Charter said was necessary to receive service, even though my television was cable-ready! I was done.

The next day, I cancelled my cable service. I took the $100 Best Buy card I received for Christmas and bought a Roku. I had weighed the pros and cons and found the amount of money I would be saving was worth more than my NFL fandom. (Little did I know, this decision would later serve my eventual distaste for the NFL hypocrisy.) Immediately, I took advantage of the 3 free months Hulu offered to try them out. It was a pleasant surprise to see how many movies and network shows were accessible through this service. However, I was quite disappointed in what Hulu offered in the family friendly department.

One of the items on my cons list of cord cutting was lack of access to channels like the UP Network and Hallmark; though Hallmark’s record of diverse programming leaves much to be desired. I looked to these networks regularly for inspirational movies and shows free of highly sexual content, minimal vulgar language and if I’m lucky, a good message. This is not to say I exclude all shows that may drop an F-bomb. We do live in a real world and hey…What do you think Peter really said to that soldier when he cut his ear off? Sometimes, however, your spiritual eyes need a cleansing break.

I will set no wicked thing before my eyes… Psalm 101:3

So, when Hulu did not provide an adequate selection of family friendly content, I decided to explore the religious channels available on my Roku. Though literally, hundreds of channels were available, most were from churches who stream their services, like The Potter’s House and Elevation Church which I added. Others were from well known speakers like Joyce Meyer and Charles Stanley. I added those too. These choices were nice but did not satisfy my desire to be entertained with good storytelling. So, like any cord cutter, I went to the internet.

I googled Roku and faith based films to find better options. My search led me to a variety of channels available with a subscription and a few free options as well. Most offered a 30-day trial. I decided to stagger my selections. A channel called Dove was the most recommended for its enormous amount of content. Next was Pure Flix created by the production company of the same name. However, with a $10.99 per month price tag, I am very hesitant to pay more for a service I may watch occasionally versus Netflix which I watch almost daily for $3 less.

Honestly, I am always a bit skeptical regarding faith based content. The low production quality, incomplete storytelling and to say it nicely, sub-par acting tends to turn me off. Sometimes, I am pleasantly surprised but I generally approach this type of content with low expectations. This should not be the case when it comes to anything that represents Christ. We serve an excellent God so what we present to the world should be excellent. I will try the various options available on Roku.

As I watch, I will make note and review. This will hopefully provide valuable information about what is available to Christian audiences seeking alternatives. I also hope to challenge the industry standard of excellence when producing faith based content.

Ruby Bridges and First Day of School Courage

August is the month social media is flooded with pics of children with backpacks and lunchboxes as they return to school. Even college students are not safe from their parents’ camera and commands to smile as they unload heavy trunks after long road trips. Those moments beg to be captured with pride and a tiny bit of sadness. It is difficult to let your children leave your care. It requires a trust that you have instilled enough in them, even at 5 years old, to survive the uncharted waters that lie ahead.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 KJV

What makes young children so amazing is their innate ability to see through God’s eyes. They do not think about the dangers of shootings, bullying, systemic racism or any other reality that adults must consider as they walk through the school doors. Children only see new friends and more ways to have fun. They do not see the brutal darkness of this world. They see joyous light. They walk in that light.

I wonder if it is that light that makes those pictures so beautiful. I enjoy seeing each one of them. The brightness exudes from a young child’s face and moves me. But no 1st day pic has ever moved me more than this photo of, then, 6 year old Ruby Bridges. US_Marshals_with_Young_Ruby_Bridges_on_School_Steps

 

To this day, I am unable to look at it for too long for I am always brought to tears. As a  child, I did not fully understand the context of this photo. I simply saw a girl who looked like me. I have pictures of myself in patent leather shoes like Ruby’s. There are dozens of photos of me with similarly decorated pigtails. Sometimes I am alone, purposefully posing for the camera in my pretty little dress. In other photos, I am with little friends or classmates. However, in not one of my pictures am I surrounded by U.S. Federal Marshals.

That is a 1st Day of School pic for every Instagram feed.

I don’t think Ruby’s tiny frame could contain the power of her naive courage. That is why it spills out of the photo through our eyes and into our hearts. It pierces deeper than sharp words on hateful signs lining the sidewalk as she walked towards the big doors. It is louder than the racial slurs being yelled at a little girl…just trying to go to school. Ruby Bridges did not know that she risked her life with every step she took. But she bravely took every step.

“Be strong and of a good courage. Fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, it is he that goes with thee… Deuteronomy 31:6 KJV

The courage of a child is oblivious to the potential dangers of opposition. It does not care about opinions or nay-sayers. It is squarely focused on the task at hand. The focus on the face of young Ruby is clear. Her courage was untainted by life experience. We can’t see the hateful signs, but she did. We can’t hear racial slurs, but she did. And she kept walking, every day. If it is the first day of school or the first day on the job; Ruby Bridges teaches us a lesson everyone should apply to their lives. Her story is one that every child should hear. Her courage is a quality that every adult should have.